Thursday, July 1, 2010

(When) He's Down

When he's down
it's almost as though
her heart becomes a heavy weight,
He's been down so many times before.
It's very hard
to separate herself (from him.)
How long will it take (this time?)
"Am I strong enough?" (No.)
(I need more time.)
(Let me rally myself...Yes, I must be stronger now.)
Stronger I will be-
and she longingly wills him strong, too.
Then she thinks back
to the very essence of
her son
as a pale wisp of a boy, at thirteen-
gaunt and leaning over (almost as if to flop;)
his young strong frame propped up, crooked in the bed.

I pray he can summon what he needs.
After her prayer she decides upon a walk.
That day,
as she rounds the bend in the road with the dog--
her eye catches him
moving his slender frame
in a slightly crooked fashion;
down the mountain path he slips
from shadow and into the light.
With a wry smile he states, simply
"I just got up!? "
"I don't know why but I feel better!"
With her breath caught
as if
seeing an apparition
she breathes a deep sigh of
relief and hope and thankfulness
all mingled
what a
sweet release
it if
another uphill battle has been eluded-
the enemy has again
strong-armed into certain submission.
She is sure that she see shadows
slip back.

Let us now dispose of the remains of the day~
far from the pain
the morning brought.

He is so unpredictable; this son.
She smiles. He loves the element of surprise.
Does he plan it that way?
Will he always find her startled at his rising;
at the tricky nature of his comeback?

He bounces back when I have almost given up.
He bounces back when I let the outcome go.
I must remember
this one


  1. Beautiful poem, lg. As a mother, I can so relate to "her heart becomes a heavy weight" when your child is hurting. And the hardest part is knowing that you can't take their pain for them. "Letting the outcome go..." -- that's the tricky bit, isn't it?

  2. This made me tear up a little, lg. I don't have any children (although many are in my life), but I can imagine the fierce need to protect them and want them to feel better. I'm so glad you and he found peace on this day.

  3. Yes~ it is the tricky part; Yes are right on.

  4. Lynn~ thank you for your candid comments; your reaction, as you described it, is what I was hoping for. Thank you (friends) for commiserating with me.

  5. I have struggled with my son's illnesses. His first surgery was at 5 and 1/2 months; as a wee babe. You could have almost laid me out (as well.) It has been a long (awkward at times) and an uphill struggle.

  6. If this poem was a well it would go to the center of the earth.

  7. lg, he's blessed to have such a compassionate and loving mother. It must have been very difficult to go through all that from such a tender age.


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No More   Don’t want to hang ’round these ghosts no more as they moan and wander and pace this ol’ floor. Don’t want to hang ’round ...