Thursday, July 1, 2010

(When) He's Down














When he's down
it's almost as though
her heart becomes a heavy weight,
pressing...
He's been down so many times before.
It's very hard
to separate herself (from him.)
How long will it take (this time?)
"Am I strong enough?" (No.)
(I need more time.)
(Let me rally myself...Yes, I must be stronger now.)
Stronger I will be-
and she longingly wills him strong, too.
Then she thinks back
to the very essence of
her son
as a pale wisp of a boy, at thirteen-
gaunt and leaning over (almost as if to flop;)
his young strong frame propped up, crooked in the bed.

I pray he can summon what he needs.
After her prayer she decides upon a walk.
That day,
just
as she rounds the bend in the road with the dog--
her eye catches him
moving his slender frame
in a slightly crooked fashion;
down the mountain path he slips
from shadow and into the light.
With a wry smile he states, simply
"I just got up!? "
"I don't know why but I feel better!"
With her breath caught
as if
seeing an apparition
she breathes a deep sigh of
relief and hope and thankfulness
all mingled
together;
what a
sweet release
it is...as if
another uphill battle has been eluded-
the enemy has again
been
strong-armed into certain submission.
She is sure that she see shadows
slip back.

Let us now dispose of the remains of the day~
far from the pain
the morning brought.

He is so unpredictable; this son.
She smiles. He loves the element of surprise.
Does he plan it that way?
Will he always find her startled at his rising;
at the tricky nature of his comeback?

He bounces back when I have almost given up.
He bounces back when I let the outcome go.
I must remember
this one
thing.




7 comments:

  1. Beautiful poem, lg. As a mother, I can so relate to "her heart becomes a heavy weight" when your child is hurting. And the hardest part is knowing that you can't take their pain for them. "Letting the outcome go..." -- that's the tricky bit, isn't it?

    ReplyDelete
  2. This made me tear up a little, lg. I don't have any children (although many are in my life), but I can imagine the fierce need to protect them and want them to feel better. I'm so glad you and he found peace on this day.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yes~ it is the tricky part; Yes Talon...you are right on.
    lg

    ReplyDelete
  4. Lynn~ thank you for your candid comments; your reaction, as you described it, is what I was hoping for. Thank you (friends) for commiserating with me.
    :)
    lg!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I have struggled with my son's illnesses. His first surgery was at 5 and 1/2 months; as a wee babe. You could have almost laid me out (as well.) It has been a long (awkward at times) and an uphill struggle.

    ReplyDelete
  6. If this poem was a well it would go to the center of the earth.

    ReplyDelete
  7. lg, he's blessed to have such a compassionate and loving mother. It must have been very difficult to go through all that from such a tender age.

    ReplyDelete

Please do...tell.

Revisiting

No More   Don’t want to hang ’round these ghosts no more as they moan and wander and pace this ol’ floor. Don’t want to hang ’round ...